So far, most of the people we have personally met in the Lifestyle have been pleasant and kind. That's a good thing. However, going through the profiles on the swinging websites we have membership at, I wonder sometimes if some of these people are for real.
In particular, I am referring to couples who "Only want a woman to play with my wife" or "A wife with a hall pass." There was a profile that said "She likes to play with women and see her man pleasure another woman." Since about 90% of the profiles are couples or single men, I wonder if this tactic ever works. Seeing as how single women are considered unicorns for their rarity, and the arrogance of saying that you'll only play with single women, it seems like this tactic probably doesn't work very well.
In fact, we receieved an email from another couple with this very type of profile. The basics are that they only want single females, or couples, but only for watching. The underlying presumption is that the other man is not going to get playtime, only his wife. I know maybe some couples like to do that, but for the most part, we've found the best couples are the ones who play together, not separately.
So, I replied to their email stating we're a full-swap couple only. They replied that with the right chemistry they would be ok with a full-swap. But the damage had been done by their profile. I never replied to them knowing that they might "full swap" a couple of times, but then constantly want Mrs. Sunbuckus to play without me.
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Entering the LS
Mrs. Sunbuckus here. I am hoping that this blog will help myself and Mr. Sunbuckus explore our thoughts and feelings concerning issues and experiences we've encountered while joining the Lifestyle. And perhaps our writings will help you and your significant other determine if this is for the both of you or not. I have found that the Swingers Forum to be very useful in terms of discussion and questions with those more experienced then us. Oh, what would we do without the internet??
So, how did we decide to get into the LS? Well, I was exchanging friendly emails with a man and it came to be that I asked him if he would consider having a threesome with us. Just out of curiosity...not necessarily something that I thought would really happen but just to gauge the level of interest. I was surprised that he would be willing to. Now, I've had a lot of different fantasies throughout my life. They may have originated from pornos or erotic literature but I know what I'm interested in, curious about, and downright disgusted by. Threesomes, gangbangs, light bondage...those are what frequent my fantasies along with the situational couplings like workplace sex and the like. Now that I knew someone might be interested in a threesome with me and Mr. Sunbuckus, I asked him how he felt about it. At first, he had his doubts. I knew that I wasn't going to do anything unless he was comfortable and on board with everything. So, we would talk about this on and off. Throughout that time, the third wheel male of the picture withdrew himself from the situation but the talks between myself and Mr. Sunbuckus continued. It was as if a door had been opened and we were both curious to see what was on the other side.
As I have learned from the Swingers Forum, the LS is something that you do as a couple. You don't do it to fix a relationship. If you have a strong and secure relationship, it will help to further strengthen it. If your relationship has problems, it will magnify them and make the issues come forth and force the couple to deal with them. Even though both Mr. Sunbuckus and I have dealt with infidelity on both sides, we both love each other very much and have worked through them. Since we are still very new to the LS and have not actually had any real LS experiences in terms of soft or hard swapping, the level of trust, commitment, respect and communication has increased dramatically between the two of us. I have learned that it is crucial to talk about anything and everything with your partner to make the LS work for the both of you.
So, before you do anything LS related, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk about it. Don't just talk about it before, during, and after sex. Talk about it when it's appropriate but not always under the glow of having sex either.
So, how did we decide to get into the LS? Well, I was exchanging friendly emails with a man and it came to be that I asked him if he would consider having a threesome with us. Just out of curiosity...not necessarily something that I thought would really happen but just to gauge the level of interest. I was surprised that he would be willing to. Now, I've had a lot of different fantasies throughout my life. They may have originated from pornos or erotic literature but I know what I'm interested in, curious about, and downright disgusted by. Threesomes, gangbangs, light bondage...those are what frequent my fantasies along with the situational couplings like workplace sex and the like. Now that I knew someone might be interested in a threesome with me and Mr. Sunbuckus, I asked him how he felt about it. At first, he had his doubts. I knew that I wasn't going to do anything unless he was comfortable and on board with everything. So, we would talk about this on and off. Throughout that time, the third wheel male of the picture withdrew himself from the situation but the talks between myself and Mr. Sunbuckus continued. It was as if a door had been opened and we were both curious to see what was on the other side.
As I have learned from the Swingers Forum, the LS is something that you do as a couple. You don't do it to fix a relationship. If you have a strong and secure relationship, it will help to further strengthen it. If your relationship has problems, it will magnify them and make the issues come forth and force the couple to deal with them. Even though both Mr. Sunbuckus and I have dealt with infidelity on both sides, we both love each other very much and have worked through them. Since we are still very new to the LS and have not actually had any real LS experiences in terms of soft or hard swapping, the level of trust, commitment, respect and communication has increased dramatically between the two of us. I have learned that it is crucial to talk about anything and everything with your partner to make the LS work for the both of you.
So, before you do anything LS related, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk about it. Don't just talk about it before, during, and after sex. Talk about it when it's appropriate but not always under the glow of having sex either.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)