Showing Interest

Mr. Sunbuckus and I are pretty shy and reserved people. We met online 13 years ago and didn't really have to deal with the dating scene or developing our self confidence or skills in how to approach those that we were interested in. This, in itself, has pros and cons. We both know that we fell in love with each other's personality core. However, that has also given us some doubts on the level of attraction that our physical appearances hold.

Ever since January, I have come to the conclusion that it is a thousand times easier to be a woman in the LS than it is to be a man. If you are a woman, it really does center around you and who you want to play with. If you are a single female, the LS world is your oyster. The absolute opposite is true for men. If you are a married man, you have it a lot easier than single males but you still have to work hard to get a woman warmed up enough to want to play with you. It is not entirely dependent on looks. Men are visual and are attracted to what they usually see. Women need to be chatted up, be shown that they are desired and interesting as a whole package before wanting to play. In a nutshell...women want to be chased. At least I do. I can be interested in how a man appears but if he can't hold a conversation with me or has an attitude that is off putting, then it's no playtime with him. Of course, I have been a bit of a slut at the parties lately and if a man kisses and fondles me, I will more than likely play...after all, it's a swingers party, not a book/movie club. But overall, women like some conversation to judge a man's personality before playing with him.

Well, Mr. Sunbuckus feels that no one is interested in him, which I do not think is the case. He is a very attractive man. The only problem is that he doesn't know how to go up to a woman and show he is interested. You can't really blame him though since we have been together for 12 years and he has wired himself to not outwardly show interest in a woman in the form of actually talking to her in order to get her into bed.

Some ways that I have been approached is to be complimented first and then an introduction. Another is being approached and asking me if I'm having a great time, and then some light touching on my back. Then, if the person doesn't pull away, then they might be interested in more so you can rub a bit more sensually until they are warmed up a bit for the fondling to get more aggressive. Obviously, once there seems to be interest some kissing and suggestion for more can be broached. I think running the fingertips up and down lightly on the arm can be nice...and if they like it, move to the legs and then between the legs.

I know that I have to work on this myself and being more outgoing in approaching couples that we are interested in. So far, we have coasted on other couples approaching us. I have vowed to try really hard at our next party to approach a couple that we are interested in and chatting them up. After all, how are we going to build up our seductive skills if we don't practice?